How does one go about doing this. In a country like Pakistan where I was born and have lived all of my life; with of course a few trips outiside of it. I notice such a big change in everything, socially, in personal relationships, behaviour, state of the country, mind set of the people. I really dont know where this is going but I feel that I just have to keep on typing away until I get most of it off my chest.
My only glorious achievements as a woman have been my two children; whom I am very proud of and love to pieces. And then there is my beautiful granddaughter the light of my eyes. I have other than that achieved nothing on a personal level. Not that anyone is to blame; but I presume the blame lies with me, as I am totally and completely responsible for all the disillusionment in my life.
I have a way of compartentalizing events that have taken place, and then in the privacy of my own mind I revisit and relive what has happened, and by God it is frightening. I sometimes feel that I have been manipulated and are still being manipulated; but am wary of a confrontation! why I really dont know but it frightens me at times. Maybe I am unconsciously aware of what the outcome would be; and then once out in the open WHAT WILL I DO?
Would life turn better or worse? A chance maybe I should take is the big question. One of my colleague's at work had written that you only know when the door closes is when you have walked through it and you hear it shutu behind you. There is now turning back, either to look at your previous life as it was or to even contemplate.
Well maybe I will come back again sometime after the weekend to explore!!
